I'm not gonna write up a review for this horrendous movie. I WILL, however, post my IM conversation I had with Ami about the film when I tried explaining how bad it was.
And yes...I do curse a lot...and yes...Ami does use emotes that much...
Ami: you watched it alrdy? XD
Ami: a lot of ppl have been saying it was bad :(
Me: I saw it last night with Mike
Ami: including IGN
Ami: who thinks spiderman is the greatest hero evar
Me: Bad doesn't do it justice
Ami: and that the movies are the greatesst movies evar
Ami: :O
Me: Spiderman 2 was fairly good
Me: Batman & Robin was Bad
Me: Spiderman 3...was like...the ugly angry sex child of the two
Ami: :O
Ami: was it a fun bad
Ami: or a bad bad?
Me: who was then abortioned but somehow lived on rat fecal matter and grew up to be a crack whore
Me: and the kind of crack whore that not even dirty old hobos would pay for because even they have standards
Ami: :O
Me: About that kind of bad
Ami: have you been hanging around grant morrison?
Ami: XD
Ami: that was a very involved metaphor
Me: It warranted it
Ami: :O
Me: Let me just leave these words to swirl around your head
Ami: so what didn't you like about it? :|
Me: 2 song & dance numbers
Ami: :O
Ami: i heard about that!
Ami: why are there song and dance numbers!? :O
Me: Spiderman 2 had a scene where Peter quit being Spiderman and "Rain Drops Keep Falling On My Head" played in a little series of shots where he was enjoying life
Me: THAT was a cute little scene
Me: Here we get a scene where Peter gets raped by the Symbiot and then goes into "Stayin' Alive" where we see a series of shots of the worst disco dancing i've ever seen, emo hair cuts, sleazy-guy-who-hangs-outside-the-girl's-middle-school moments of him winking at woman on the street, and then more bad disco dancing
Me: there is also the big dance finale where he plays the piano like a fucking pro (I guess black suit spidey had rythm then?) then dances on some night clud tables and salsa dances with Gwen Stacy all while looking at Mary Jane like he's gonna eat her liver with beans and wine
Me: and of course let's not forget the opening the features Mary Jane lip synching to a terrible love song while I guess she is supposed to be in a musical (no musical opens the way this one does...i'm sorry they just dont)
Me: this is all tacked onto the fact that we don't actually see Spidey in action until half an hour into the film after being tortured with love scenes worse then Star Wars 3
I would like to conclude this by also mentioning that the intro sucked because it did not have the wicked awesome Alex Ross artwork that the past Spidey film had. I feel this was a fantastic way to forshadow the terribleness of the movie.
No Alex Ross intro = Bad
Saturday, May 5, 2007
Monday, April 2, 2007
Touched By A Nerdgasm
As you may already know due to me dropping her name every chance I can, I am friends with the one known as "Ami Angelwings". And not the "We totally shook hands one time and I am intimate with her trash can" kind of friends. We are real honest to goodness, get each other birthday presents and talk about our hair (her more then me...although i'm thinking of adding bleached tips...we'll talk later about that...) kind of friends.
Anyway recently Ami has been pointing out to me the inane amount of semi-intarweb publicity she is receiving. From being casually mentioned in a Something Awful forum fight to being replied to by the amazing Gail Simon (several times). It's all very exciting for her and for me by association because it's the first time she's forayed into something like this without the intent to be read by people and now she is getting 500 hits on her blog and being read by people we find to be celebrities of some sort.
Obviously the biggest deal for her is being read by Gail Simon whom she looks very dearly to it as a comic book great. Long before she started her blog she would talk about how great she is. So I am going to start a campaign to get some level of success the way she has by dropping names like a coke fiend with turrets in hopes of getting MY comic book idle to comment on MY blog.
So from here on out every post I make here will end with me dropping the name of my favorite comic book person and then praising them in some way before ending the post.
On a differant note I have finally been able to get all 4 issues of Justice Society of America in their Cooler-Than-Thou Alex Ross covers. I had to goto 4 different comic shops across Philadelphia's Center City but it was well worth it to get Mr. Ross' art back onto my shelf. I already have several comics by Alex Ross spread around my house, such as my leatherbound copy of Kingdom Come that I use as a coffee table book (everyone who sees it LOVES looking at it). I have also noticed that Ross has the masterful ability to do cover art for some very fantastical series of comics (Astro City anyone?) and very rarely to terrible writings (sorry Red Sonja). Anyway I just wanted to throw that out there that it was a big adventure obtaining those comics as very recently they have started to issue the Black & White covers that are nice in their own right but just can't hold a candle to Alex Ross. Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, oh and Alex Ross, Alex Ross.
Anyway recently Ami has been pointing out to me the inane amount of semi-intarweb publicity she is receiving. From being casually mentioned in a Something Awful forum fight to being replied to by the amazing Gail Simon (several times). It's all very exciting for her and for me by association because it's the first time she's forayed into something like this without the intent to be read by people and now she is getting 500 hits on her blog and being read by people we find to be celebrities of some sort.
Obviously the biggest deal for her is being read by Gail Simon whom she looks very dearly to it as a comic book great. Long before she started her blog she would talk about how great she is. So I am going to start a campaign to get some level of success the way she has by dropping names like a coke fiend with turrets in hopes of getting MY comic book idle to comment on MY blog.
So from here on out every post I make here will end with me dropping the name of my favorite comic book person and then praising them in some way before ending the post.
On a differant note I have finally been able to get all 4 issues of Justice Society of America in their Cooler-Than-Thou Alex Ross covers. I had to goto 4 different comic shops across Philadelphia's Center City but it was well worth it to get Mr. Ross' art back onto my shelf. I already have several comics by Alex Ross spread around my house, such as my leatherbound copy of Kingdom Come that I use as a coffee table book (everyone who sees it LOVES looking at it). I have also noticed that Ross has the masterful ability to do cover art for some very fantastical series of comics (Astro City anyone?) and very rarely to terrible writings (sorry Red Sonja). Anyway I just wanted to throw that out there that it was a big adventure obtaining those comics as very recently they have started to issue the Black & White covers that are nice in their own right but just can't hold a candle to Alex Ross. Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, Alex Ross, oh and Alex Ross, Alex Ross.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Holy Crap a Review!
So I am a pretty picky Comic Book fan. Being friends with Ami Angelwings I have the tendency to be her polar opposite when it comes to comics. If it has 1 single bad issue I will drop it like it's hot (I always wanted to use that phrase). I have dropped more comic titles then I have fingers and toes to count them on. Oh and I don't read Marvel...sorry, I just don't. Marvel to me is great for comic readers age 10-16, after that you need to grow up and move on. Yes I will admit that on rare occasions I have given them the benefit of the doubt when it's a writer I really enjoy (Joss Whedon anyone?) but it always ends bad for me so I am very strict on my No Marvel rule.
Anyway, when I DO find a title I enjoy I REALLY enjoy it. It has to be something that captures all my comic senses. If the writing is good but the art is bad, i'll drop it. If the art is good but the writing is lacking, dropped. It has to have the best of both worlds for me because I demand only the best in my comics. If a title can give me both of what I want it must be something special and most of the time the majority of the comic world agrees with me (I can't help but love Mystery in Space regardless of what people say about it).
And before I go into more detail about anything I want to let you all know that I am NOT a comic book elitist nor do I claim to be a roladex of information. I re-started reading comics thanks to Ami about 2 years ago just before Infinite Crisis when she sent me a copy of "The Killing Joke" as a house warming gift when I moved to Philadelphia from Los Angeles (it may be helpful to know that I am horribly obsessed with The Joker). That comic sparked my love in comics again wich I lost at the tender age of 8 because of a little series called "Maxx" (yes that weird purple dude with spikes on his fists that look like middle fingers).
Since then I have been very picky on what titles I pick up because I am still getting back into the groove of the game and now that i'm in College I want to do my best to avoid looking like a COMPLETE nerd (I think my Leather Bound edition of Hitchhikers Guide To the Galaxy does that just fine on it's own). Anyway now that you know a little bit about my motives and pickiness let's GET IT ON!
WARNING: If at any point you feel the need to punch the screen cause what I am saying is completely inaccurate then keep in mind that I am most likely speaking in tongue and cheek.
So there is this new series that DC recently came out with about a little group in their Universe called "The Justice Society of America", ya I know, they totally ripped it from Justice League but I think they may be onto something here. Anyway it's written by this crazy guy named Jeff Jonz or something like that (some nobody writer) but I gotta say, hot dam is this kid good.
Ok serious time now.
I am a fairly big fan of the look and feel of Golden Age heroes as Ami & anyone who has known me for more then 20 minutes can attest to. So it felt only natural for me to pick up the new JSA when it came out. The fact that my favorite artist of all time, Alex Ross, was doing the covers was just adding ice cream to the delicious chocolate cake that is Geoff Johns writing.
I am 4 issues into the series and DEMAND I get to read the next 10 issues RIGHT NOW to see what the fuck is gonna happen. Not many comics can get me THAT into the story but the introductory story that the new JSA deals with is very close to my fan-boy heart. The story they are calling "The Next Age" deals alot with the concepts of Legacy Heroes (heroes that pass on their titles to others. ex: The Flash). We get a crash course in former members of the JSA in these first 4 issues and go from their high points to the brutal murders of them and their family at the hands of some crazy ass Nazis (c'mon, who DOESN'T love watching people beat the fuck out of Nazis, even Nazis enjoy it). After watching some surprisingly violent murders we finally get issue 4 where the new JSA wipes the floor with this new Reich and comes closer together as a family (another constant theme I noticed in JSA is that they are more of a family of heroes, unlike JLA that is a squad).
I'm not a good comic reviewer like Ami is but I can tell you that if you enjoy team comics and don't mind silly Golden Age antics resurface in the middle of Modern Age In-Yo-Face action (or if you LOVE IT, like I do) then you need to read yourself some Justice Society of America.
Unlike the JLA we get something close to 15 heroes in one group wich allows for some amazing cluster fucks and, i'm sure, will lead to some great variety in issues when we learn more about each member.
Oh and if your a feminist comic book fan then you may be happy at the fact that they made Powergirl the JSA Chairwoman because she worked hard for it and not because of his amazing rack (wich is nicely toned down thanks to Dale Eaglesham's great artwork).
So pick it cause I said so...and cause it's only 4 issues in...and cause the Alex Ross covers are awesome...and cause it's a great read...and cause if you don't baby jesus will cry...
Oh and I suppose I better start a rating system so I give it...
5 Black & White Oranges out of 5 (for the first 4 issues as a whole)
Anyway, when I DO find a title I enjoy I REALLY enjoy it. It has to be something that captures all my comic senses. If the writing is good but the art is bad, i'll drop it. If the art is good but the writing is lacking, dropped. It has to have the best of both worlds for me because I demand only the best in my comics. If a title can give me both of what I want it must be something special and most of the time the majority of the comic world agrees with me (I can't help but love Mystery in Space regardless of what people say about it).
And before I go into more detail about anything I want to let you all know that I am NOT a comic book elitist nor do I claim to be a roladex of information. I re-started reading comics thanks to Ami about 2 years ago just before Infinite Crisis when she sent me a copy of "The Killing Joke" as a house warming gift when I moved to Philadelphia from Los Angeles (it may be helpful to know that I am horribly obsessed with The Joker). That comic sparked my love in comics again wich I lost at the tender age of 8 because of a little series called "Maxx" (yes that weird purple dude with spikes on his fists that look like middle fingers).
Since then I have been very picky on what titles I pick up because I am still getting back into the groove of the game and now that i'm in College I want to do my best to avoid looking like a COMPLETE nerd (I think my Leather Bound edition of Hitchhikers Guide To the Galaxy does that just fine on it's own). Anyway now that you know a little bit about my motives and pickiness let's GET IT ON!
WARNING: If at any point you feel the need to punch the screen cause what I am saying is completely inaccurate then keep in mind that I am most likely speaking in tongue and cheek.
So there is this new series that DC recently came out with about a little group in their Universe called "The Justice Society of America", ya I know, they totally ripped it from Justice League but I think they may be onto something here. Anyway it's written by this crazy guy named Jeff Jonz or something like that (some nobody writer) but I gotta say, hot dam is this kid good.
Ok serious time now.
I am a fairly big fan of the look and feel of Golden Age heroes as Ami & anyone who has known me for more then 20 minutes can attest to. So it felt only natural for me to pick up the new JSA when it came out. The fact that my favorite artist of all time, Alex Ross, was doing the covers was just adding ice cream to the delicious chocolate cake that is Geoff Johns writing.
I am 4 issues into the series and DEMAND I get to read the next 10 issues RIGHT NOW to see what the fuck is gonna happen. Not many comics can get me THAT into the story but the introductory story that the new JSA deals with is very close to my fan-boy heart. The story they are calling "The Next Age" deals alot with the concepts of Legacy Heroes (heroes that pass on their titles to others. ex: The Flash). We get a crash course in former members of the JSA in these first 4 issues and go from their high points to the brutal murders of them and their family at the hands of some crazy ass Nazis (c'mon, who DOESN'T love watching people beat the fuck out of Nazis, even Nazis enjoy it). After watching some surprisingly violent murders we finally get issue 4 where the new JSA wipes the floor with this new Reich and comes closer together as a family (another constant theme I noticed in JSA is that they are more of a family of heroes, unlike JLA that is a squad).
I'm not a good comic reviewer like Ami is but I can tell you that if you enjoy team comics and don't mind silly Golden Age antics resurface in the middle of Modern Age In-Yo-Face action (or if you LOVE IT, like I do) then you need to read yourself some Justice Society of America.
Unlike the JLA we get something close to 15 heroes in one group wich allows for some amazing cluster fucks and, i'm sure, will lead to some great variety in issues when we learn more about each member.
Oh and if your a feminist comic book fan then you may be happy at the fact that they made Powergirl the JSA Chairwoman because she worked hard for it and not because of his amazing rack (wich is nicely toned down thanks to Dale Eaglesham's great artwork).
So pick it cause I said so...and cause it's only 4 issues in...and cause the Alex Ross covers are awesome...and cause it's a great read...and cause if you don't baby jesus will cry...
Oh and I suppose I better start a rating system so I give it...
5 Black & White Oranges out of 5 (for the first 4 issues as a whole)
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Shut Up & Enjoy The Testosterone
Hey, i'm JD and this is where I will rant once a month (or whenever I remember) about random things that will most of the time involve comics somehow but not always. Anyway, on with the show!
So i'm getting VERY angry at so many people cutting down the movie "300" and acting like it should be treated and reviewed like a real honest movie with actual value. Did I miss the part where ANYONE was claiming this movie was insightful and full of historical accuracy? Maybe I missed it over all the wicked awesomeness of the film itself. I am mostly angry at woman who see and expect anything past the best dam guy movie ever invented. Oh and the people who complain it's racist when really...no one gives a shit.
Let me let you all in on something, I saw the movie on opening day with my friend Mike, we are two VERY white VERY nerdy looking young fellows and saw it in Philadelphia. Aside from two kids who snuck into the movie from some cartoon, we were the only white people among a sea of black people. After the movie guess what? THEY LOVED IT! Turns out they didn't give a FUCK about the color of people's skin because it was just a fun "Turn your brain off" movie and nothing more.
NOW STOP DIGGING DEEPER INTO IT!
So i'm getting VERY angry at so many people cutting down the movie "300" and acting like it should be treated and reviewed like a real honest movie with actual value. Did I miss the part where ANYONE was claiming this movie was insightful and full of historical accuracy? Maybe I missed it over all the wicked awesomeness of the film itself. I am mostly angry at woman who see and expect anything past the best dam guy movie ever invented. Oh and the people who complain it's racist when really...no one gives a shit.
Let me let you all in on something, I saw the movie on opening day with my friend Mike, we are two VERY white VERY nerdy looking young fellows and saw it in Philadelphia. Aside from two kids who snuck into the movie from some cartoon, we were the only white people among a sea of black people. After the movie guess what? THEY LOVED IT! Turns out they didn't give a FUCK about the color of people's skin because it was just a fun "Turn your brain off" movie and nothing more.
NOW STOP DIGGING DEEPER INTO IT!
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